Jay S. Kingston 1960-2021; Good guy in a bad place in life.

On April 18th 2021 a former long time friend passed away. Jay S. Kingston. We knew each other in Warwick Vets High School part of the school's science fiction club in 1976. Later in 1977 he told me something about this little film called ....STAR WARS...and the rest was history. 

Jay was a truly funny and talented guy. He was like a walking stand up act, impersonations, etc. We were the same age and probably had I not stayed back one year in 1969 been in the graduating class in 1978. 

We had some truly fun times in those days. Then again we were younger. We made Super 8mm "movies" with a friend, sci fi stuff that really was pretty awesome for what it was. When STAR WARS became the BIG THING, we dressed as the characters and were asked, with friend Jack Eaton to perform as the characters. I was Luke obviously. My mother made some of the costumes. Jay would rope in some of the many girls he knew as a Leia depending on availability.  See the above photo from Summer 1978 from the long gone Cinerama Theater in Providence RI during Star Wars' 2nd release in 1978. We even got PAID.

The trouble building was that Jay suffered from several ailments, Brittle Bone Disease being one...and childhood asthma. After High School he desired to join the Air Force and was rejected on the basis of his health several times. Coming from that kind of family wherein a uniform was a badge of courage, this was devastating to him. I countered with "Hey you won't get drafted!". My goal by this time, was doing art. Which, I did.  And got lots of encouragement.

Still. We managed a good time. Jay and I used to go to Sci FI conventions, a rather fun STAR TREK one in NYC in 1979 and later in 1980, we shared a room at Noreascon 2. Around this time, Justine Heramia(now Michaud) entered my life. A stunning, beautiful woman(see picture above) who was a model, loved science fiction and. well. Yeah, it was love at first sight for me. Jay already had a girlfriend, Kathy Phillips who was a very nice person I always felt. The picture above is Jay, left, me with Justine at the Miss RI contest. She and I are still the dearest friends to this day. A real treasure in life.

As the 80s wore on Jay and myself did the things you did when you were 20 something. You grabbed a sub sandwich, went to the Mall(s) to hang out and play the Arcade game places. What a time you could have with a roll of quarters. We saw movies too, STAR TREK TMP,  MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME, GODZILLA 1985, where Jay spent much of it doing very funny Raymond Burr impersonations. 

By this time he was dating his "high school sweetheart" Barbara Stock who, later in 1986 he married. It was conflicting in the sense she, by my opinion, maintained a "heavy" influence in his life and I will leave it at that. But whatever. We make our choices. He seemed happy which was what counted. Later in 1988 and 1991 he was to have two sons. 

In 1987, he, Marc Morriseau, Donna Drapeau and myself created/founded The Rhode Island Science Fiction Club.  I stayed with it for over a decade but, strayed due to inner dynamics. They still are going to this day I am glad to say, as an entity. 

In 1994 and 1996 I won Hugo Awards and he was entirely thrilled. I can't forget that. 

He got a job working for the State Medical Examiner/Coroner's office. My concern was what this would do to his stress levels which were already high for other reasons.  He became the onsite person at the horrific Station Night Club fire in 2003 where 99 people lost their lives. Simply put the stress from this on top of diabetes  and super high blood pressure would destroy his health later.

In 1997 I met the woman who would be my wife. She was Australian, Marianne Plumridge. Jay thought this was marvelous. In 1998 we got married, as my Dad was dying in later that year. Jay and his wife were our "attendants" at the wedding, a small one of 10 people. 

As the 2000's dawned and 9/11 hit the world, it also changed the dynamics of people. the Division Bell had begun ringing. He became a different man. Later in 2006, due to a misunderstanding and interference from a third party, we were no longer talking. In 2007...he emailed me to patch it up and me, being me, accepted his side of the apology, and I also apologized. It was all very silly. His and his wife's ideology was also something I became at odds with to an extent. Again we make our choices.

We tried to get along  walking on eggshells. and maybe we did, from then on but nothing was the same. His health was declining badly to what seemed an emergency a week. I felt very helpless to do much. In 2016, something again that I said, was "doxxed" out of a private message and, taken out of the context of the conversation and, well, like dominoes, the friendship with him and anything with his family collapsed like cards. Part of it was me, I'd say 40% of things I said were out of turn and uncalled for. But this time, no apologies despite my half hearted attempt. I had not spoken with him since 2016 when he was hospitalized. 

This past week I found second hand, he had passed. He was as I see it finally at peace from the torment of his declining health. Life is memories, I have some great memories of a talented and good man that had a hard life. Though I will not/did not attend services as I am "not welcome" I publish my own tribute to him.

His official obituary is here:

https://www.hillfuneralhome.com/obituary/jay-kingston?lud=44141009C350F0AC1CB88AC02236D40C&fbclid=IwAR2Uyx0Yi38Cph9X6Lj73bCqdV6bZkKv9IH8jKQDqERSqvO7ZB18vTSpXcw